Georgia Governor Brian Kemp (R) proudly announced a new statewide Diversity in Massacres program, aimed at widening the color spectrum of mass shooting victims in his state. Kemp, elected governor by way of mass voter suppression, heralded the initiative, calling it the first of the kind in the nation. “Well, at least formally,” Kemp clarified,…
Month: March 2021
Tucker Carlson Angrily Accuses Jesus Of Cancelling Sin
Tucker Carlson unleashed a furious tirade against Jesus Christ today on his nightly Fox News segment, “WAAAHHHH, with Tucker Carlson”. Carlson, who has a long history of popularizing the polar opposite of Christ’s teachings, accused the widely-misinterpreted Lord and Savior of perpetrating “cancel culture” against sin. “This liberal insanity – He just wants sin to…
North Korea Accuses U.S. of ‘Causing a Stink’; U.S. Deploys Smack Talk Task Force
Kim Yo-jong, Stepford Sister to North Korean teddy bear model and Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un, accused the Biden administration of “causing a stink at its first step“, CNN and others report. In response, Secretary of State Tony Blinken, working closely with Comedy Central, has deployed a crack team of American and British comedians, trash-talkers, and…
Republican Members of Congress Very Jealous of Biden’s Huge Package
House and Senate Republicans reacted in awe today, remarking on the gargantuan girth of Joe Biden’s package, all the while straining to push back against its massive size.